


Never stop fighting

by Kriosanna



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flashbacks, I will add more tags as I go, No Beta, Oda being perfect distraction, Suicidal Thoughts, kinda PTSD, looking for distraction, post-parade, some spoilers for mid-game, terrorist Johnny Silverhand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:27:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kriosanna/pseuds/Kriosanna
Summary: Unable to cope with her nightmares and what her life has recently become, V starts looking for a distraction. She finds it with the most unexpected person.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/V, Sandayu Oda/V
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Crumbling

**Author's Note:**

> This happened, out of nowhere. Not sure where it will take me, but it had to be done.
> 
> My first fic in 15+ years and first one in English. No beta. Please, be gentle with me!
> 
> Trigger warnings for dark themes, signs of PTSD and emotional hurt.  
> Smut will happen, when the characters get to it. Probably sooner than later, but who knows where will they take me?
> 
> Please, let me know how I can improve my writing, I will appreciate every comment :) First chapter is SUPER short, more of an intro, just giving me the first push to publish something. More will follow soon.
> 
> So... here goes nothing.

Flames. Hot ash burning V's skin, pushing up her nostrils, irritating her eyes. And the neverending screaming. What does one have to do to make someone scream like that?  
She was trying to get up from her knees, slippery hands not finding any purchase to push herself up. Was that a puddle? Was it raining? It could rain some, she could barely breathe with how parched her throat was, her lungs wheezing with effort. Maybe if she put her head on the ground, took some water in her mouth, the burning would stop.  
She lowered her lips, parting them, sticking her swollen tongue out to get any moisture her hands were swimming in. She could not see a thing, but her mouth connected with liquid and she moaned relieved, before the sudden realisation hit her. The liquid was too sticky, its scent and taste metallic. She was licking up blood, swimming in it actually, drowning in it.  
The screams wouldn't stop. She felt the ground rumble... an earthquake?  
She looked up, blinking a few times with teary eyes provided her with quite a view. The Tower. The tower was crumbling down and raining fire.  
The screams were getting louder and louder and then she realised they were hers...  
Her own screams shook her awake.

The moment she sat up, her stomach turned and twisted painfully. Had she eaten anything, it'd probably came back up now. But she didn't, she couldn't force herself to even look at food for last two days, ever since... since...  
Since Goro mentioned to her the Arasaka memorial, the ruins of the tower that always stood there, in the City, yet she never acknowledged it, never spared it a thought...  
After a heated exchange with Takemura, she went there, curious of Johnny's take on it. She expected him to justify his actions, belittle it, maybe even try and laugh it off. She expected bravado, pride, self-righteousness. But he didn't show when she stood there, feeling the black pit of numbness and terror slowly expanding, enveloping her whole being. He didn't show up then and he didn't show after any of her nightmares, when she woke up crying or screaming or mixture of the two.

V slowly untangled herself from the sweat drenched covers and got up on shaky legs.

12,000 dead. Jesus, Johnny. It was easy to forget the other face of Johnny Silverhand. Charismatic rockerboy, sometimes annoying with his love for narrating her life, poking her for reaction, damn, he was even helping her out day to day on the job... that's what she knew. After their first encounter, they worked it out, this weird level of trust and companionship. She'd ride out with him into Badlands and scream "fuck Arasaka" on the top of her lungs, laughing after a tough day gone by.  
But this... this Johnny Silverhand, the terrorist, the guy who walked into the tower and set a nuclear charges without a moment of hesitation... This Johnny terrified her, made her want to puke, to put an end to all this. Taking his life together with hers with one precise bullet. She wished he was here, giving her shit for it, but the apartment was empty and quiet.

"Coward", she muttered under her breath, slowly making her way to the shower.  
She needed a distraction. Two days gone by and she couldn't afford wasting time. 

Hot water hit her skin, relaxing muscles and clearing the fog in her brain a little bit. So maybe she was on the path to self destruction, but she wouldn't just sit down and wait for it to happen. No, she was ready to face it head on and with Arasaka occupying her mind, meeting with Goro seemed like a great start.


	2. A mistake

“Train me, Goro”, V was nested comfortably on a pile of cushions scattered on the floor, a bowl of dumplings in her hand. Once she discovered Takemura's hideout (it wasn't that difficult really with all the hints Goro sent her in his series of 'world's worst selfies ever taken'), she often dared to come uninvited. Every time she would have a food offering for him, and lately, his stopped complaining about the taste. Either he finally got used to the quality of Night City's finest, or he didn't want to waste his breath on something as pitiful as that.

“No”, his response was quick, almost like he didn't spare it another thought and V immediately felt the vicious pang of disappointment at his refusal.

“Why? Cause according to you there is something wrong with my morals? Or is it some secret Arasaka ways you think a petty merc like me is not worthy of knowing? I've beaten Oda, had him flat on his back. He is alive today ONLY because YOU have asked me to spare him!”

“V, I..." For a brief moment he seemed lost for words. "You are a capable fighter, determined. Fearless. Oda's extensive training hardened him in a way you would never allow. His skills are far superior to yours and I'm afraid, in the current state, mine as well.”

“I **won** that fight, Goro. All the more reasons to train me.”

“Even if I wanted to... The training needs to be performed daily and we cannot allow ourselves to have that luxury. I no longer have access to the necessary facilities. There are also other... challenges. Without my cybernetics, my reflexes are not as they were...”

“Bullshit, I saw you fight. You are the best I've seen and Oda is up there with you. Somehow, I saved both of your lives and you still REFUSE to help me train!” She put the bowl down and stood up, angrily. In three short steps she was next to the window, unable to look out with the curtain obstructing the view. No matter, the only thing she cared about right now was _NOT_ looking at Takemura.

He was silent for far too long, V felt the tears of anger and rejection well up in her eyes. She bit her lip. So much for her distraction.

There was a careful touch brushing up her arm and then a hand resting on her shoulder.

“You do not need me as your mentor, V. I do not know what happened in that warehouse during the parade, but you have bested my most accomplished student.” He pulled gently at her shoulder, turning her towards him. Flickering flames of few candles were the only source of light in the otherwise dark room. She swallowed hard, her eyes focusing on the hard lines of his face and then moving up to his bright optics. His brows were furrowed, she wasn't sure if in concern or annoyance. “You are a great warrior, V. The only thing you lack is...”  
“I swear to God, if I hear of honor one more time!” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Is discipline.” Takemura finished the sentence and paused, searching her face. She was almost sure that he was scanning her. “Why are you here today, V?”

The question caught her off guard and she blinked stupidly not knowing what to say. His warm hand remained on her shoulder and she felt sudden urge to take a step forward and hide her face in his neck, Why was she here? She needed something... Something to distract her, to take her mind off things, to help her forget for a moment that she was truly fucked. A dying girl with a terrorist in her head, slowly taking over her consciousness.

Her first instinct was to throw herself at the first opportunity to get her ass kicked, but in safe environment. She couldn't afford to go searching for trouble in Maelstrom territory, that was basically her job description anyway and she grew tired of that. And she didn't want any more killing, not unnecessary killing at least.

But maybe... maybe this would do. A bit of warmth. Attention. She couldn't deny her attraction to Takemura. From the moment her eyes focused on his through the haze of anesthetics in Vik's clinic... She felt something stir inside her.

It wasn't possible before, but now? Now they were safe, as safe as they could be anyway, with 'Saka assassins out there. She let out a shallow breath and took a step forward, wrapping her arms under his rib cage. She could feel the hard muscles tensing under her hands, against her body, and with a flushed face she pressed a delicate kiss to the fine line where the chrome met skin on his jaw.

Takemura's body went completely stiff, his breath caught in his chest. He wrapped one arm around her waist and kept the other one firmly on her shoulder. She leaned back, her parted lips felt suddenly dry and too chapped, her warm breath enveloped his face while she looked up at him, waiting.

His fingers twitched and tightened on her shoulder, pushing her away gently.

“V... I do not think we should give in to... I do not think this is what you want.”

“But I do. Don't you...?”

“I... I cannot. Please, accept my apology.” She flinched like he just slapped her and tried to pull away, but Goro was still holding her in a firm grip. “Know that it would be the highest honor for me under different circumstances, little fox. We cannot afford emotions to cloud our judgment now. V, I thank you for... this trust.”

_Thank fuck, now lets delta before I puke._ And there was Johnny, leaning next to the door with his arms crossed, only visible thanks to the blue hue of glitches. _Chist, V, are you completely gonked now? A fucking 'saka?_

V untangled her arms and nodded at Takemura, not trusting her voice yet. Something heavy was sitting in the pit of her stomach and she felt sick. He finally let her go and she quickly moved back, her hand rubbing her neck in awkwardness.

“Since you don't want to train me, maybe Oda will”, she sneered, surprising even herself. She wasn't completely sure where that came from, the idea didn't cross her mind before she spoke it out loud.

Now it was time for Takemura to flinch.

“It would not be wise to seek confrontation with Oda, V. What we did at the parade was... not honorable. Even if our intentions remained pure, I have betrayed Oda's trust and I do not wish to anger him further. I do not see him being ready for a conversation with you and if it is an escalation you are looking for, I feel the need to advise against it.”

By the time he finished, V was done with quickhacking his holo and obtaining Oda's number.

Maybe she was unreasonable. Maybe it was a mistake. But she couldn't help but feel a weird satisfaction leaving Goro's place (after a very quick and awkward goodbye), with another Arasaka's bodyguard contact on her holo.


End file.
